Thank goodness Microsoft has dropped the Seinfeld commercials. I was told by several people that he’s a great comedian and the commercials were hilarious, so I was hoping it was just me (and perhaps the effects of my past employment; everyone knows cops have "unusual" senses of humor) and that everyone else would love them. I guess my lack of appreciation for leather giraffe jokes isn’t so unique after all.
The "I’m a PC" ads still aren’t as good as what I could write (but probably would never be allowed by the lawyers to release to the public) taking on Apple head-to-head, but they’re a step in the right direction. I would have left off the beginning, where our beloved PC Man comes off as a little whiny complaining that he’s been stereotyped, and just jumped into the "I’m a PC and here’s why I’m great" stuff.
Best idea for a Microsoft commercial I’ve heard came from one of my readers, who (after the caveat that she is herself a blonde) suggested a skit in which PC is an incredibly beautiful but intellectual looking redhead (think Kate Walsh with fashionable glasses) and Mac is a sexy but obviously bubble headed blonde (Britney/Jessica/Paris) who costs you a fortune, brings you all sorts of grief and does nothing but listen to music all day. Meanwhile, PC Girl smashes through glass ceilings and runs the company while managing a loving relationship and raising two perfect children, and excelling at all those video games Mac doesn’t have in her leisure time. I love the idea (and not just because I have red hair).
The Mac guy is already every mature woman’s nightmare: the one we’re all attracted to because he’s good looking and "cool" but whom we quickly discover is so arrogant and self absorbed that there’s no way you could ever build a life together. Heck, I had a brief fling with an iMac for a while. It was a neat looking machine and the display was pretty and I wanted to love it. But it wouldn’t the things that needed to be done (just like those great looking guys who never seemed to have a real job or be willing to stoop to taking out the trash). It wasn’t compatible with any of the programs I wanted to run. It wanted to do things its own way, and didn’t much care about my preferences. I was back in the arms of my faithful, boring looking but high performance (and low cost) PC in no time.
That’s the direction I think Microsoft should go with its commercials. How about "I’m an iPhone" and "I’m a Windows Mobile" for starters? "I’m a WM6 and I can accompany you on the longest trips because you can just pop in an extra battery if I run out of juice." "Where’s Mac?" "Oh, he had to go home and recharge."
WM6: "I’ll write that proposal up and have it to you in a few minutes, no problem."
iPhone: "Umm, you want me to actually type something? With real grammar and real spelling? Something longer than "C U in 30 min’? Sorry, no real keyboard. I’ll have to wait ’til I get back to my MacBook."
WM6: "Sure, I can carry as much extra data as you want. No limits. I’ll just put it on these removable storage cards."
iPhone: "Oops. Memory is full. I’m going to have to delete something if I want to add something else. Storage cards? Umm … I don’t seem to have a slot to put it in. Sorry."
Etc.
deb@shinder.net
